Rap, rap, rap, rap. The meat pounder serving as a gavel called the meeting to order. It was the monthly gathering of the northern Nevada chapter of PCYM, the “Please Call Your Mother” association, and it was my turn to chair.
Chairwoman: “Ladies, ladies! The meeting has now come to order.” Rap, Rap, Rap. “Please refill your wine glasses and take a seat. Thank you.”
“The topic this month is the finalization of our newest cookbook, scheduled to be published shortly. As you know, the purpose of this association (which has chapters worldwide) is to determine ways to get, and hopefully keep, the attention of our grown children and our grandchildren. Last month it was suggested that if we could somehow bribe them with food, they might remember that we exist.
Let’s go around to room and I would like each of you to tell us which recipe you chose and why. Mabel, you go first.
Mabel: “Well, I chose my Southern Fried Chicken. My Billy simply cannot resist it. I send him a batch fresh out of the fryer by Fed Ex Overnight once a week. I can tell he’s gotten it because FedEx sends me a delivery confirmation.”
Susie: “My recipe is one that’s been in the family for years and years. It’s “Mom’s Famous Meatloaf” made with a secret, special sauce. My Jimmy has been eating this meatloaf since he was just a little tyke and absolutely loves it. I just sent him another year’s supply last week. I’m sure he’ll be calling me any day now to say thanks and how much he appreciates all my hard work.”
Angie: “Well, you all know that I am nearly world famous for the 60 varieties of Christmas cookies that I make each year. I chose my daughter’s favorite for the cookbook - ‘Angel’s Wings.’ It’s a cookie hand-cut in the shape of the wings of an angel and made with butter I churn myself. I decorate the wings with super-thinly sliced almonds that look like feathers and add special edible pearls and sparkles. She really loves them, so I sent about 10 dozen last week as a pre-Christmas treat. They took me over two days to make but it will be worth it to hear her voice when she calls. I’d better make sure the ringer on my phone is on.”
Tess: “What could get my son and grandson’s attention better than my potato pancakes? The recipe has been handed down for generations and little Stevie can’t get enough of them. In fact, I’m in the process of making about 12 dozen so I can send him some once a week. I’m including a cell phone with the next batch. It is specially made for six year-olds with my number pre-programmed so we can FaceTime anytime we want.”
Chairwoman: “Thank you ladies. These are all great recipes and I’m sure many of you have similar stories. Before we end this month’s meeting, we need to finalize a title for the book. Mary here has proposed ‘What Am I, Chopped Liver?’ Do I have a motion to approve?”
“YES!” (unanimous voices cry out from around the room)
“Second?” All hands go up.
Chairwoman: “The motion is carried. Congratulations! Join us next month when we will be setting the date for our annual “Time to Let Go” Rummage Sale when we finally say goodby to all of the toys our adult children left behind. Thank you all again. This meeting is adjourned.
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