Suitcases packed. Check.
Birthday gift wrapped. Check.
Annie App updated. Check.
The much-anticipated road-trip to see our grandson and celebrate his 7th birthday at Universal Studios was just a day away. Maybe we weren’t exactly thrilled about waiting in long lines, but the little guy was excited to visit Nintendo Land and that’s all that really mattered.
The next morning, I made sandwiches, packed the cooler and loaded the car; we were ready to roll. Thank goodness for the “Annie App,” my patented backseat driver application, designed to assist the driver in making safe decisions on the road. The 9-hour drive through the desert had the potential to be much worse without it. Wisely, I had installed updates that included new features such as a high-pitched scream that automatically sounds when another car passes us too closely, as well as the sound of a foot hitting the floor hard when the brakes need to be quickly applied. I couldn’t wait to try them out.
Promptly at 9 AM, after a final hug for our overly pampered kitty (who would be well-taken care of in our absence by the kids next door), we headed out the door, sunglasses freshly cleaned and cold-water bottles at the ready. As expected, the first hour was smooth sailing. We drove south along carved hills, mountain peaks still capped with tiny pockets of snow, and passed through old mining towns full of antique stores and quaint eateries.
When we reached the California border, the mountain passes had narrowed to only two lanes and we began to encounter a fair amount of RV campers, causing slow-downs as they moseyed along. A volume of trucks also crawled along, adding to a rise in hubby’s frustration level.
“How about a snack, hon?” I suggested. I was trying to forestall any crankiness when the stretch of fast-moving highway abruptly ended, and we were once again moving at a glacial 25 miles per hour. Traffic lights commanded every intersection of the next small town, turning red just as we approached. I was hoping a little nibble would help distract him, but I had missed my opportunity.
“Unbelievable!” “Another light!” “What the heck … is this some local traffic commissar’s idea of keeping the speed limit down to a snail’s pace?” came the latest explosion from my left. “It doesn’t have to be this way. The lights should be timed much, much better!”
Patience, they say, is a virtue, but having it in traffic had never been hubby’s strong suit. Quite a few not “children friendly” words later, the snail-like traffic ceased, and the spate of small towns was in the rearview mirror. A wide-open highway boasting a 70 mile an hour speed limit opened before us and a much happier hubby pressed down on the gas pedal, quickly throttling up to 75 mph.
Whew. It looked like we’d gotten through the worst of the delays. “See, hon?” I soothed. “We didn’t lose that much time; we’ll arrive just as scheduled. But I am curious, why the hurry? We’re making good time overall so there’s no need to speed.”
I regretted the words the moment they left my lips.“I’m not speeding! I’m going with the flow of traffic. Everyone else is moving fast - I’m just keeping up. Plus, no cop is going to stop me for going 5 miles an hour over the limit!
And, just as I began to search for an appropriate feature on the Annie App to handle the situation, potential doom in the form of construction signs appeared, warning of one-lane zones ahead. “Reduced speed,” “Stay in Lane” and “Slow Trucks” announced yet another potential delay. Watching for the next “Passing Zone Ahead” sign became the holy grail of the trip. “We’ve been following that same truck for 20 miles now. These guys just don’t want to move over and let me pass.”
Clearly, the snack had not done the trick. While the antics of this male driver on the road had not yet reached “drag racing” mode, the need to mimic Mario Andretti and go faster than the next guy was taking shape.
Desperate times were calling for desperate measures, so I once again consulted the Annie App and found a brand-new feature labeled “Secret Weapon.” I clicked excitedly and followed the instructions, and they worked like a charm. As we began to pass a big 18-wheeler, the driver slowed down, put on his blinkers and gave us room. This happened not just once, but several trucks did the same.
“Will you look at that!” hubby exclaimed. I wonder why they’re suddenly being so cooperative. Did you notice anything?”
I couldn’t resist a grin as I replied “Yes, hon. I just did what any clever woman would do when she wants something - I used the radio in the Annie App to flirt with them.” “What do you mean you flirted with them?” I couldn’t tell if hubby was annoyed or impressed as I explained: “All I did was text the first driver a big smile and wave and then he let us pass. We then exchanged real grins when we passed. I think he let all the trucks ahead of him know we were coming, and I did the same with them too.”
One more drive saved by the Annie App. The rest of our trip went as smooth as glass, except for the long lines and excessive heat waiting to see Super Mario. Maybe they’ll develop an app for that too!
© 2024 Annie Sokoloff
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