It’s a sensitive conversation many couples have. Despite women’s protests, guys just seem to fixate on size. “Quality is great, but, ahem… is it big enough?” so the conversation goes. My husband has asked me about this on multiple occasions. The topic has come up with other women; it’s an important discussion that takes place in the privacy of their homes. I offer a glimpse into my own personal life:
Hubby: “I think we should talk about this.”
Me: “What, again?”
Hubby: “Yes, again. I think improvements can be made.”
Me: “Improvements or enhancements?”
Hubby: “Potato, Po-ta-to. I think we need some help in this department, and I hope you know how much this means to me.”
Now, it takes a certain amount of courage and finesse to address this issue without damaging the man’s ego.
Me: “Honey, I really think it’s unnecessary. I’m perfectly satisfied, and I think you should be too. I mean, at our age, do we really need it to be any bigger? What we have works perfectly well.
Hubby: “Well, yes, that may be true. But I’d really like it to be bigger.”
Me: “Seriously, it’s plenty big already. And it fits just fine too.”
Hubby: “Well, can’t we at least talk about it? I mean, I saw Jerry’s the other day and his is really huge!”
Me: “Yeah, it is, isn’t it” I admitted. “I saw it too. He proudly showed it off to me when we were at their house for drinks the other day.”
I have to admit, it was pretty big. It was probably one of the largest I’d ever seen, standing out proudly. In truth, you really couldn’t miss it and when it came into view and before I could even stop myself, out of my mouth came the words Jerry was no-doubt dying to hear: “Wow! That’s impressive!”
Immediately responding to the compliment, our host rushed to show me more. As he pointed excitedly, I saw it - above the mantel in the great room in its place of honor - Jerry’s brand new super-sized toy. A super deluxe 85” widescreen TV, complete with surround sound. This was his new baby and boy was he proud.
In the moments that followed, Jerry excitedly told me all about how he had searched and shopped for the perfect model, measuring the space to an eighth of an inch so he could fit in a maximum set for maximum enjoyment. But that was not all. There was also spacious theatre-style recliner seating complete with cupholders. Our friends might never have to leave the house again!
And you might have guessed it, there was more. Equally excited, our friend introduced me to his brand new, super-duper, ever important and equally impressive remote control. Seriously, looking at it I was sure you could call the Space Station with this thing.
Aww, the remote control. In our house, this little device has a built-in homing device that causes it to automatically fly into male hands as soon as they enter the room. “You really don’t like to share that, do you?” I frequently ask. The answer, as you might guess, is a resounding “Why? It’s mine!” accompanied by a not-so-subtle clutching of this apparent substitute appendage. It’s like holding power in his very hands.
So, in answer to that age-old question, “Does size matter?” In our household it does…my husband is so proud.
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